boredom

i have discovered that boredom is my downfall. the moment i have nothing to do, i start feeling depressed. all kinds of negative thoughts come to my mind n i start feeling very very demotivated.

i need to occupy myself. i need to get out of the house. i just wish there were more things to do n see. i just cant b staying idle like this n hating myself for having horrible thoughts.

December already?

its december. really? where did the year go?

Getting old(er)

Birthdays used to be a lot of fun. Not anymore. Well, of course it's fun to be the birthday girl and get the hugs, gifts, handshakes, gifts, wishes, gifts, phone calls, did i mention gifts?! :P but then, when you realise that you are a whole year older..yeah like a WHOLE GOD-DAMN YEAR OLDER, it takes a lot away from it. sigh....

The best part about birthdays is definitely the (no not the gifts...i'm not that shallow also!) cake. caaaaaaake! aah! i love cake! and i love my birthdays because owing to the sheer number of friends i have, i end up having more that one party and therefore more than one cake. JOY!

friends...yes that reminds me of a very funny fact. every year i have additions to my friends list. this year too i have made some great new friends who would most definitely be invited. sadly though, the one i really, really want to have around wont be there :(

so all in all i guess birthdays are just about OK. they have surely lost their charm...i used to be kicked from october 1 and would actually cross off days from the calender when i was younger. but now i wish i could do something in great contrast to that!!!! so while on one hand there are the gifts, the cake, the hugs, the wishes and the happy-happy spoilt feeling, on the other there is the realisation that i am growing OLD. bloody hell i'll be in my late twenties now!!! how scary is that?!!! i wanted to be so many things before i was 27 and i got nothing done :((( but i guess its ok...i'll survive and if all goes well, i'll be writing a similar post next year and cribbing perhaps a little more :D

till then, a very happy birthday to me!!!!

A Smile From You

When I felt it was all over,
A smile from you reinstated faith

When I started to walk away
A smile from you pulled me back

When I knew the end was near
A smile from you proved me wrong

When the pieces began to fall off
A smile from you glued the jigsaw back

When the heart was parched
A smile from you washed the drought away

When my life was in place
A smile from you set madness in motion!

When I thought it wasn’t needed
A smile from you displayed insane love

But just when I needed you the most to smile
A smile from you was nowhere to be found…

Dance with me....

Disclaimer: Before I begin, let me tell you that this post is politically incorrect. Please do not get offended by what I say. It's just the way I feel, and it isn't necessarily the way it is.


DANCE WITH ME

I went for a dance show the other day. dancing is, and has always been one of my most favourite things. And one of my life's greatest regret is that I never learnt dancing myself. I sooo wish i could dance....sigh!

I have also been attracted to men who can dance. well, not classical dancers, but the 'cool' types, like the hip-hop dancers or basically guys who could move their bodies (mind u in a macho way!). As a result, i've loved everyone from John Travolta to Vivek Oberoi, from the Backstreet Boys to Ranbir Kapoor. If you can dance, you can win my heart! i have had crazy crushes over guys i didnt even know, but just saw dancing!

i always thought that any form of non-indian dance was sexy for men (pls refer to disclaimer before getting offended!). so when i got an invitation for a western classical dance show, i was over the moon. i was told that a lot of guys would be dancing too and so i was really looking forward to it. i dressed up nicely and was on my way to observe these apparently sexy guys who could dance. i entered the venue and was even surprised to see how cute some of them were!! but that was all till the dancing began............

initially i was confused. i didnt know if it was me or just the way they danced. i am sorry, but i found the whole concept so gay (disclaimer disclaimer!!)...i mean, i'm sorry, but there just isnt anything macho in a guy taking graceful steps n moving their hips and butts in an extra smooth manner. the girls doing the same were looking so nice, and i couldnt help but think that some things are just meant for women!!! and that's when it hit me - i find men dancing classical dances effeminate! i'm sorry, but thats just what i feel!!!!

i was upset because i always thought men should be in touch with their feminine side - it makes them sensitive, caring and responsible. but now i feel i know the difference between being in touch with the feminine side and being (or coming across) as plain effeminate!

ok, now that i have written this, i am sure to receive a lot of flack. you are welcome to leave a comment, but before you do PLEASE read the disclaimer once again! :P

Old Posts

Was going through my old posts and found some particularly funny ones. this one takes the cake tho! take a look

Kisses

This is the cutest kiddy poem i've read....couldn't find it anywhere on the net. so posting it here for everyone to read :-) Kisses by Ian Souter

KISSES!

Last week
my face was smothered in kisses.
YES - KISSES!
First there was the dribbly-wibbly kiss
when Mum slurped all over me
like an eight-mouthed octopus.
("There's my favourite boy!")
Then there was the lipstick-redstick kiss
when my aunt's rosy lips
painted themselves on my cheeks.
("Isn't he so handsome!")
Next came the flutter-eye, butterfly kiss
when my girlfriend smoochy-cooched
and fluttered her eyelashes at the same time.
("OOOOOOOOOOOOH!")
After that there was the soggy-doggy kiss
when our pet Labrador Sally
tried to lick my face off.
("Slop! Slop! Woof!")
Following that there was the "watch out here I come" miss kiss
when my little sister aimed for me
but missed and kissed the cat instead.
("UUUUUUUUURGH")
then there was the spectacular-Dracula kiss
when my cousin Isabel leapt from behind the shower curtain
and attacked my neck
("AAAAAAAAAGH - suck!")
Of course there was the "ssssssh don't tell anyone" self kiss
when I looked into the bathroom mirror
and kissed myself. (Once was enough!)
But the unbeatable, second to none, zing-dinger of a kiss
came from Gran.
It was lip-sucking, cheek-plucking, Donald Duckling
SMACKEROONY OF A KISS. (She'd forgotten to put her teeth in!)


-Ian Souter

Blessed

I feel blessed to have so many great friends. this isnt just a 'friendship day realization'. i have always been lucky to have the nicest friends and perhaps that is why my life is so beautiful today. my friends are my true lifeline and i just dont know what i'd ever do without them.

i've also been one of the few very lucky ones to have had one best friend since the time i was 7. i know of a lot of people who've had like 10 best friends...each at a different stage of life and then forgotten about! i also know of best friends who used to be close once upon a time but only stay in touch via emails now. there really r very few people like me who have had that one best friend for 19 years, with whom the equation hasnt changed one bit! what i would ever do without her!

while i have one best friend, i have some very very close friends too. they are equally important to me. but at this point i must mention why i feel so blessed today. there are not one, but three people who consider me to be their best friends. a best friend is a prized title and i feel so fortunate to have three of those! the other day someone asked me what my talent was and i said it was being a good friend. i think thats true, for a friend is someone who comforts u and is there for u. and that, i surely am! i am so happy that i can make these wonderful people feel special and love them the way they love me.

so here's to friendship, friends and JOY!

this or that?

while travelling by a bus this morning, i saw a mentally challenged boy. he was sitting with his mother and perhaps travelling to some place which....did he even know where?

i was sitting just opposite to him and hence got to observe him for a long time. and though it was a bit disturbing to see such a cute young boy challenged, it was also a wonderful experience observing him.

he seemed so happy, so carefree. he laughed at everything, smiled at everyone and just did what his heart pleased. it made me wonder if he lived in a better world. while on one hand, he surely has to go through a lot of hardships, he also has been blessed to remain ignorant of the worldly worries that plague the rest of us. he is so oblivious to the stares, the whispers and (unfortunately, or annoyingly so) the taunts that always accompany him. it made me wonder if he was happier than all of us were?

and that was when it struck me...who decides what's good and what's bad? what if we are just accustomed to believing that we are the best. who has ever told us that the mentally challenged world isnt perfect and ours is? what if its the other way round?

i dont have answers to these questions, but just sitting there and looking at the boy and occassionally reciprocating his smiles and waves made my day. it was such a beautiful thing. sad that he is different, but great that he is - it gives him a life that we only read of in fairytales. god bless him forever and ever :)

Hats off

With weird marriage proposals coming my way now, I was so happy yesterday when I heard about a girl and how she dealt with similar situations. I dont know who she is, i dont even know her name...but I've become her fan. if she reads this post somewhere, somehow, i want her to know that she is officially my role model now n i bow to her!!

so this is what happened:

the guy is a relative. they have been looking for a match for him. now they heard of this girl and approached the family. the guy was then told that the girl would initially communicate thru email and then take things forward. so he mailed her (or his father did, i'm not sure). the girl replied. her reply was just an orkut friend request. she mentioned that she was a bit busy and didnt have the time to write stuff abt herself, so they shud chk her profile, where everything they needed to know was there.

so the guy (and his parents!) log on to orkut to see the profile. the display pic was of a girl wearing a brown leather jacket, huge sunglasses, a bandana and she was kinda sitting on a bike. for his conservative parents, that was the 1st jhatka!!

then, the profile sed nothing much, but there was an album. so they opened the album and wat they fond?? they found tons of snaps of "her". there were snaps of her toe nail, her hairs' split ends, her acne, her elbow and a close up of her teeth!!!!!

at this point, the parents literally fell off their chairs!! LOL!! so the guy, gauging the situation, mailed her back n extremely politely said that he wasn't interested.

u thot that was the end of it?? well, the guy thot so too. but he opened his mail box a while later n saw that the girl had replied...n her reply was "AS IF I CARE"!! hahahaha

this was just such a great slap on the face of everyone who forcefully tried to get her married off or put any pressure on her watsoever. i just loved her guts n the manner in which she dealt with it. n this really makes me wanna try it out too. wish i get to do it. just once! :D

Going Shopping with Daddy

I'm going show shopping with daddy! its been a long time since he bought me something. ever since i began working, i've insisted on paying my own bills and (proudly so) have stuck to it.

but now things r a bit different. i'm on living on a shoe string budget and buying anything, let alone shoes, is quite out of the question. i've been saving up for a trip and hence have voluntarily sealed off my bank account. so i have a paltry some of a couple of thousand rupees to spend each month.

anyway, getting back to my shoe shopping, before u say anything, i'm going to buy basic shoes....the ones i need for everyday use. not gonna take advantage of my dad's spoiling spree! hehe! so good i am :P

I Miss

I miss going out on dates. its been so long that i've been on a date. those simple, silly ones. where u just meet up n go have coffee or take hand-in-hand walks n then he drops you home. those silly movie dates where u just giggle thru the entire movie, the ice-cream afterwards.

i miss getting all excited n dressing up for the date. i miss spending hours in front of the mirror deciding wat to wear. i just miss.....

GOSH!! i havent been on a date for sooooo long!! :(

Little Pooja

I had the most amazing experience at New Market today. I always love going to new market, as the place makes me happy. just happy. for so many reasons. and what happened today just added to the it.

I met a little girl, who was selling stuff (like hair clips, safety pins, etc) in a basket. we were inside Nahums n she was lingering outside. i ignored her completely while she was waving out to me n flashing her basket full of goodies. but then she started speaking in english n that's when i took notice. no, not because she spoke "english", but because of the way she did it. she wasn't dressed any better than a beggar, n her overall appearance wasn't to impressive either. but she still smiled n took the effort to speak a language that didnt come natuarlly to her. i was so impressed.

i learnt that her name was pooja n she has been working in the area for the last 10 years. she could not have been any more than 11 or 12, n i was told that she used to beg before n now she sells. it was the most wonderful thing i heard in a long time n it really made me happy. i didnt need any of the things she was selling, but i just bought something to encourage her. i had a brief conversation with her n she told me that she goes to school every single day n loves to study. n all the while she spoke in english, n most of it was perfect :)

it really made my day. i was so happy to see a little girl fighting against all odds n doing well too (i would definitely say so coz very few people give up begging n get enrolled in schools, n that too while coming from a background like that).

next time i go to new market, i'll surely hope to meet pooja n ask her how well she is doing in school :)) GOD BLESS HER!!!